Wednesday, August 1, 2012

It Must Be Getting Noticable

Everywhere I turned today I got comments regarding Aerynns size.  I've not been in town for almost 2 weeks due to coming down with the flu, but in those 2 weeks something has changed.  I don't know if she is starting to look more mature in her face or if I'm paying more attention to those around me and appearing more open but the number of people I've never met before - strangers right off the street that commented on Aerynn's size today was remarkable (hence writing about it here :P)

I had 3 comments at McDonalds where we stopped off for 30 minutes to grab some lunch.  It didn't help that Miss A was being a determined little almost 1 year old and insisting that mummy was not to carry her and she was to walk everywhere holding mummy's hand :/  (Yep, a stubborn streak there - no idea where THAT comes from **eye roll**)  One mum there came up to me and asked me what was wrong with her, why she was so tiny!  I was rather taken aback and just blurted out that we're not sure but it could be dwarfism.  Probably not the most eloquent answer judging from the quick "oh I'm so sorry" and look of embarrassment on her face.  I don't know why she felt the need to apologise for something that no one could help, maybe her bluntness yes...  I guess I'm going to have to work out what to say if this kind of thing keeps happening...  Until we have a firm diagnosis and prognosis it's probably hard to put it into words...

Then in KMart while looking for spoils for Aerynns birthday I again ran into more unsolicited comments...  3 different individuals, 3 different situations but all the same "oh she's so tiny, how old is she?"  When I say she's 1 next Wednesday they all gasp in disbelief :/  Sure she was sitting in the trolly seat - rather gingerly as she's usually in the baby capsule seat and the seat is REALLY big and open and well for her... big LOL  But I didn't really think she looked THAT out of place there...  Maybe I'm not seeing the forest for the trees? 

* Snoozing in Spotlight today (yay we found a capsule trolley there!!!) - the only comments we got there were about how cute she was and about her snoring and sweating up a storm!!

Later in the evening again shopping, this time in Coles...  Same trolley, same "deer caught in headlights" look from Miss A due to the insecurity of the seat (curse the shops for not having enough capsule trolleys today!!!) and again lots of looks, 2 individuals game enough to comment "oh she's so cute, but too little to be sitting there" was one in particular... 

So one day down town and 8 comments on Aerynns size.  It's amusing though...  She's still our little Aerynn, nothing has changed with her but all of a sudden people feel they have a right to comment on her physical appearance or even apologise for the possibility she may be a Little Person... 

I wasn't ready for today... Really not ready, but obviously something has happened and I need to prepare myself for this kind of situation happening again.  Even if her being this small is only temporary it's only a matter of time before I have the older kidlets with me downtown and they start to notice the looks and hear some of the comments as well.  They love their baby sister and know that she has issues with food, but other than that we've only briefly discussed the possibility that Aerynn isn't going to grow like the vast majority or people and possibly will be defined as a Little Person.  But how does one do that?  Prepare.  Especially when we don't know for sure yet?  I don't want them to think that there is anything wrong with being little to start with, but if people automatically apologise and reel back if it is mentioned they may start to feel there is something wrong.  I might need more help with this than I first thought.  As much as this is what Aerynn is experiencing and is her journey, it is also a journey our family as a whole is on and I think I've just realised how much it may effect the other children - not necessarily negative but they need to be prepared for what other people may say and how they may react...

I know Aerynn will be perfectly Aerynn size, regardless of what is going on within her body, but is that enough for the kidlets to understand???   I kinda feel at times it's a hollow mantra for myself.  I know she is perfect for being her, but it doesn't mean I can't be upset and mourn the fact she may not be what is considered "normal" and have a "normal" life and "normal" experiences... of course that hurts that her future may not be what we dreamed it will be for our little princess, but it could be worse...  it could be much much worse, and she WILL be perfect little Miss Aerynn regardless... but is that enough for the kids to understand - actually I wonder if it really enough for ME to understand at times :/

*Trying on a Pony for size...  Her feet 
may touch the ground... one day.  In 
the meantime some shortening of the 
stirrups may be in order :/                  

Sheesh...  I really wish our appointment with the geneticist was this week instead of in 3 weeks time...  I don't know if I can put this off that long!!!!

*Please excuse the quality of the photos, I'm struggle with the iPhone camera, SLR I'll manage anyday, but a phone camera does me in :/  LOL

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