Pushing the Limits

There's only 2 days until our little girl turns 1!!!  Time sure has flown!!!  She is changing from our little baby into a little girl before our eyes! 

We are doing our best to get her through the next few weeks prior to her hospital admission and food challenges etc the best we can, and I have to admit we've been a little naughty.  Aerynn kept trying to eat anything she could put in her mouth.  barks, sticks, dirt, animal food - literally anything she could get her hands on she was trying to eat.  I couldn't handle it so have relented and have been allowing her little bits of REAL food.  Foods that we know takes a few ingestions and days for her to react so we can try to manage any reaction that may build up.

It's worked in the sense that she is no longer trying to eat anything and everything but after 2 days of this we're seeing a little bit of fallout.  She has had a couple of really unsettled nights, has mild eczema breaking out on her face and the most horrible nappies out.  She's been swinging between constipation and diarhoea - no mucous or blood though as yet which is good.  No "proper" vomits as yet, however when she gets a good cry up or upset she will dry retch and have little vomits.  She also has the sorest bottom.  Sadly she has blistered and has big open wounds which are bleeding at nappy changes.  I am struggling to know whether to carry on with this to keep her "happy" or to stop and deal with a child who tries to eat anything and everything. I know if I rang the hospital they'll tell me not to give her anything until we're in there but they also don't live with the guilt of eating in front of a child who is desperate to taste, eat and experience food day in and out... 

 I know we are pushing the limits with her little body.  I love seeing her happy with food (even the small amounts she is getting) but not sure if we are doing the right thing - hey, I know we're probably not doing the right thing...  but then we also were told that if she eats not to stress as she will react anyways - hence the justification for doing a cake smash for her when the weather clears up...  Where does one draw the line on what is ok to tolerate and what isn't?

UPDATE:  within 10 minutes of submitting this entry we found our answer to the above dilemma... we had reached the limit.  Aerynn started power chucking thick mucousy vomit and the same in her nappy :(  It looks like we are going to have no choice but to keep food away from her until she is approved for it in hospital.  I've tried so many different ways to get food into her with the least possibility of reactions but it always fails.  I am out of ideas now, and seeing her distress tonight as she was trying to clear the thick gunk and breath/cry at the same time was heartbreaking...  She is still shaking and unsettled, but better after a feed.  Lots of snuggles on the agenda for tonight and taking my cup of cement to try and permanently drown the mummy-guilt and frustration....