Altered Realities

Today is day 4 at the hospital (admitted around 5pm Monday night) And right now I am feeling as though I must come from another planet or am living in some external plane outside of the real world that allows me to interact with those in the real world still.

So far today I’ve been told that Aerynn has been given antibiotics previously and has a skin rash and been prescribed these drugs again to clear it up. She needs to take antibiotics orally 3 times a day for 2 weeks :/ This girl (well in my world at least) has never had an antibiotic in her entire life!!!! Let alone a rash that has been bad enough to be needing a Dr to be checking it :/

Also in my world last night I was up settling, feeding and soothing her 6 times between the hours of midnight and 7am. This morning I am told that ht nurse who introduced herself at 10pm and whom we didn’t see again reported Aerynn had a great night, was really settled and slept well…

And now despite me watching her react in front of my eyes, having others see her react an come out in hives, vomit, diarrhoea etc etc etc in the real world she tests as not allergic to anything :/ How the heck can she be reacting, hiving, vomiting, mucousing, etc etc etc in my world but in the real world nothing – nada… zip… Even with photos….

So I’m obviously living in some altered reality. Things I’m seeing and reporting are apparently not real or happening according to everyone else.

I want to check out of this place right now.. I’m so confused and upset and really have no idea where to turn now. The person parents should be comfortable in turning to has been extremely judgmental of us already (our choice to demand breastfeed and use cloth nappies) so not feeling the support there.

Add to that being told yesterday that unless Aerynn gets hives, swellings or copious vomiting from foods it’s not really considered a “reaction” I’m kinda flustered with this. I know she is mucousing and spiking temps with food but they are not considered reactions to the food! We’re to continue giving her food despite this happening. Despite the fact she’s not sleeping after being fed these foods for whatever reason :/ I can understand that they are not life threatening reactions and that we can push past them but feel they have been dismissed and waved away as “nothing”

Anyways… beam me up Scotty. I do not like where we are at the moment. I feel questioned, judged and found wanting on so many levels and am starting to question my own sanity. It’s not a good place to be :/