Saturday, July 28, 2012

Stop Trivialising!!!

I've come across a rush of people of late who either are incredibly insensitive, downright stupid or plain mean.  These are people who want to compare Aerynn to their children when they are living completely different situations.  I'm not meaning parents with other children who had FPIES or RSS or other medical issues which are similar, I'm talking about parents who have healthy children.  Children who are growing and can eat and even more disturbingly parents who have been caught outright LYING about their childrens size and trying to turn our situation into competitions for one reason or another.

I can't fathom WHY anyone would want to do this! What satisfaction do they get from saying their children are smaller than what they really are?  What do they get from messaging me privately saying their child is the same size as Aerynn so there is nothing "wrong" with her and I should stop making things bigger than what they are and just get on...  There have been the kind of parents who are sickly sweet and appear to be supportive on the outside but then their words are laced with poison which eats away at my self confidence and starts me questioning what we've experienced, seen and are fighting for with our littlest Miss.

I really want to take a minute and scream "JUST STOP IT NOW!!!!!!"

Our situation is NOT like yours!!!  The fact you point out how healthy Aerynn looks, how she has fat rolls and looks a bit of a chunka is part of why we are in the situation we are in at the moment!!!  YES she is doing wonderfully well in regards to LOOKING healthy BUT she's not growing at a normal rate!!!  and on top of that SHE CAN'T TOLERATE FOOD!!!!  Your children, who apparently resemble my daughter have grown, they ARE growing... They CAN eat...  Do you see the difference, can you see my frustrations???

You don't have to worry about what CRUMBS they may pick up off the foor and react to because you've not vaccummed in the last hour... You don't need to worry about your children sharing food with each other when teaching them it is good to share (just not food Dommy, just not food my sweet beautiful boy)  You don't have to worry about getting sick yourself because your breastmilk is your childs only source of sustenance and nutrition and you can't afford to get sick or compromise your own milk supply.  You're not up holding your screaming baby all hours of the night as her body fights the cramps and reactions for those tiny crumbs of food they may find during the day, or washing mucous and blood out of nappies because you can simply toss your disposies out with a normal childs healthy bowel motions.  You're not pushing back tears on an almost hourly rate, worrying about what the future may hold not just for your baby but for the family as a whole; as your older children struggle with puberty and entering their teen years and you know you're not 100% there for them as you should be because of the time, energy and emotional expense you have to bear to keep your baby child as healthy as possible. You simply do not know what it is like to walk even an hour in my shoes SO DON'T COMPARE!!!!!!

Don't you DARE trivialise our situation by saying that your child is exactly the same BECAUSE THEY'RE NOT!!!!  Every time you do that show me how shallow, nasty and condescending you are.  You're playing games with my head and it's cruel, heartless and downright nasty!!! To put doubt in another mothers mind about how they are raising and caring for their child is low, the lowest of lows.. no the lowest of lows is when you fabricate your childs size to make mine look more "normal" and "acceptable" and then publicly keep raising how similar our children are... 

So just keep your opinions, comparisons, patronising comments, personal messages, shallowness and plain old nastiness away from me!  I don't need it, I don't deserve it and nor does my daughter or family!!!!

Stop trivialising our situation 
because it's not something to trivialise and brush aside!!!


Phew, that was good to get out.. but seriously, we need positive people around us.  Telling us how "normal" Aerynn is doesn't help because she's not your average 12 month old.  Patronising "glass is half full" comments may be great from time to time, but sometimes all we need is to vent, get the negatives out despite seeing the good behind things, not be told how lucky we are all the time, or how things can be worse or the likes...  I see the bright side of things, I know there is light at the end of the tunnel and I know that Aerynn is perfect the way she is... I try to be as positive about everything but I am human and sometimes I need to have a negative spiel and with this kind of thing there is a time and a place...

1 comment:

  1. I hear you Katrina. I cannot imagine what you go through on a daily basis and I know you have to get it out sometimes. Bravo for you!!