If only I could find a way....
Honestly, I know it's cliche but I don't want to go too far back, just a few days, mere hours in the scheme of things... But I can't.
They say knowledge is power... at the moment I'm saying ignorance is bliss... Well was....
We finally got some blood sugar test strips for Aerynns BSL meter. We tested... and tested again... and again... and again...
I don't know what it means in the long run but Aerynns blood sugars are swinging. They're not showing the dramatic lows we expected. Rather lows here, lows there and what surpised us all is highs! She is recording levels that hang around 6.6-7.9's most of the time, they have dropped right down to 3.2 and 3.5 on a number of occasions and then soared up to 10.6! It probably doesn't mean much to most people. I thought our first reading of 6.1 was good (I even posted on facebook at how happy I was at that reading for a midnight read 5 hours after eating) but apparently blood sugar levels should be under 5. I was celebrating a slightly high reading *doh*
I spent most of Thursday and Friday on the phone (or more to the point waiting on call backs!!!) to Aerynns GP and Paed trying to work out where we are going from here. Her GP is quite concerned and wants her to be seen ASAP, her Paed appears concerned as well and would like her seen by an endocrinologist whilst we are at Melbourne in a couple of days. I don't know if that is going to happen though as time is running out in getting an appointment.
So for now we continue to test, log, notorise EVERYTHING - as in sniffles, sleeps, food, drinking, headaches, listlessness, over-excitements, injuries, upset, tantrums etc etc etc.. basically anything that can have a result on blood sugars needs to be recorded as well as her tests.
It breaks my heart to hear her say to me "no sorry" after I kept apologising every time she cried after pricking her finger or toes... It's tearing me apart that she knows what pain is, even though it's little pains, it's discomfort a child shouldn't have to know. She has started to hide her hands against her body when she sees the test kit come out. Life shouldn't be like this but for so many kidlets it is. And I am hoping that Aerynn wont have to worry about it too much longer, but for now we trudge on and try to work past the emotional side of that something like this brings with it. I'm trying not to worry but take each day, hour, minute etc at a time. Hoping that this is just a little hiccup and something that can be sorted out nice and easily...
Wishing I could turn back time to when Aerynn had no idea what a lancet was, or what a drop of blood is or that her mummy is ever so sorry she is having to hurt her... wishing I could turn back time to when we simply thought there was something "odd" not thinking that anything would really come of it... back to a time where I had no idea that 6.1 was a slightly elevated BSL result...
Turning back time is not possible. We have results now so ostrich syndrome (AKA sticking head in the sand AKA ignoring the problem and hoping it will go away) is no longer possible...
Wishing I could turn back time, knowing I can't and feeling relieved that these symptoms aren't in my head, I'm not exaggerating them and knowing that we may have some answers soon, but at the same time incredibly scared that these answers may have long term implications and other health complications.
If only I could turn back time...
Honestly, I know it's cliche but I don't want to go too far back, just a few days, mere hours in the scheme of things... But I can't.
They say knowledge is power... at the moment I'm saying ignorance is bliss... Well was....
We finally got some blood sugar test strips for Aerynns BSL meter. We tested... and tested again... and again... and again...
I don't know what it means in the long run but Aerynns blood sugars are swinging. They're not showing the dramatic lows we expected. Rather lows here, lows there and what surpised us all is highs! She is recording levels that hang around 6.6-7.9's most of the time, they have dropped right down to 3.2 and 3.5 on a number of occasions and then soared up to 10.6! It probably doesn't mean much to most people. I thought our first reading of 6.1 was good (I even posted on facebook at how happy I was at that reading for a midnight read 5 hours after eating) but apparently blood sugar levels should be under 5. I was celebrating a slightly high reading *doh*
I spent most of Thursday and Friday on the phone (or more to the point waiting on call backs!!!) to Aerynns GP and Paed trying to work out where we are going from here. Her GP is quite concerned and wants her to be seen ASAP, her Paed appears concerned as well and would like her seen by an endocrinologist whilst we are at Melbourne in a couple of days. I don't know if that is going to happen though as time is running out in getting an appointment.
So for now we continue to test, log, notorise EVERYTHING - as in sniffles, sleeps, food, drinking, headaches, listlessness, over-excitements, injuries, upset, tantrums etc etc etc.. basically anything that can have a result on blood sugars needs to be recorded as well as her tests.
It breaks my heart to hear her say to me "no sorry" after I kept apologising every time she cried after pricking her finger or toes... It's tearing me apart that she knows what pain is, even though it's little pains, it's discomfort a child shouldn't have to know. She has started to hide her hands against her body when she sees the test kit come out. Life shouldn't be like this but for so many kidlets it is. And I am hoping that Aerynn wont have to worry about it too much longer, but for now we trudge on and try to work past the emotional side of that something like this brings with it. I'm trying not to worry but take each day, hour, minute etc at a time. Hoping that this is just a little hiccup and something that can be sorted out nice and easily...
Wishing I could turn back time to when Aerynn had no idea what a lancet was, or what a drop of blood is or that her mummy is ever so sorry she is having to hurt her... wishing I could turn back time to when we simply thought there was something "odd" not thinking that anything would really come of it... back to a time where I had no idea that 6.1 was a slightly elevated BSL result...
Turning back time is not possible. We have results now so ostrich syndrome (AKA sticking head in the sand AKA ignoring the problem and hoping it will go away) is no longer possible...
Wishing I could turn back time, knowing I can't and feeling relieved that these symptoms aren't in my head, I'm not exaggerating them and knowing that we may have some answers soon, but at the same time incredibly scared that these answers may have long term implications and other health complications.
If only I could turn back time...
Ignorance is bliss, knowledge is power... but with knowledge comes responsibility...
**scared**
**scared**
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